ARE YOU IN A HURRY?
When you think back to your teenaged years, do you recall ever having to rush a sexual experience, out of fear that you might get caught by a parent? You know the routine; you go over to your girlfriend's house, have dinner with the family, and then go upstairs to her room to study together. You keep the door just slightly open until you hear the television blaring out the theme song indicating the beginning of her parents' favorite show. At this point, you know you've got approximately eight minutes until the first commercial break, when who knows, they might want to see how the studying is going. You seize the moment, and rip each other's clothes off as fast as you can. Foreplay is reduced to unfastening the hooks on her bra. You thrust as quickly as humanly possible, and breathe a sigh of relief when you achieve your orgasm and get your clothes back on before the advertisement for toilet paper appears.
What a large number of men report as their regular masturbatory routine is in sharp contrast to the situation described above. As common practice, many men will masturbate for periods in excess of one hour. A typical session may be described as such: you take care in the preparation of any visual accessories required (magazines, videos, pictures, etc.), as well as any desired lubrication. Once you've gotten yourself all worked up, you'll bring yourself to the point just short of orgasm, where you'll slow down until the sensation of an oncoming ejaculation subsides. You'll repeat this process over and over until you decide that you want the ultimate payoff, at which point you'll just let loose and lie spent, content in the satisfaction of yet another successful self-pleasuring experience.
What is noteworthy about these two completely different scenarios is that the first takes place out of necessity, while the second is by choice. The first, if repeated often enough, will become a learned behavior that very well may cause problems later on. What kind of problem? Approximately one third of all men around the world suffer from premature ejaculation. I'm not suggesting that all men affected by PE had to rush through sex between commercials, but it is definitely one cause.
There are a great number of adult males who believe they suffer from PE, simply because they don't really understand what premature ejaculation is. They think that if they repeatedly ejaculate prior to their partner, there must be a problem. Many women take a long period of time to achieve orgasm through intercourse, and many more never do. The fact that you come before your partner does is not reason alone to think you have a problem. There is no steadfast rule as to what is the minimum amount of time it should take you to ejaculate after penetration, but the average among males is approximately three minutes after insertion. Surprised? By nature, men are supposed to ejaculate before women climax; it ensures the survival of the human race. That being said, no man wants to come immediately after entering his partner, but what is the happy medium? Well, there aren't any teams of doctors equipped with stopwatches ready to time you to see if you make the cut or not.
The surefire way to diagnose a case of PE is to determine if the man has ejaculatory control, at least to some degree. Do you remember the masturbatory scenario previously mentioned? If you are one of those men that can sense an upcoming orgasm, whether you decide to slow it down or not, you can easily overcome any problems you have with rapid ejaculation. However, you may be unfortunate enough to be completely unaware of the point of "inevitability", or the point of "no return" when nothing you or someone else can do can stop the expulsion. That is to say that you don't sense the pleasure building up to a predictable result. You feel pleasure, and then bang!, you come. That is a slightly more complicated, but by no means, difficult problem to treat.
One theory suggests that some men feel more sensitivity on their penis than others, giving them a more intense sensation and greater sexual pleasure, in turn causing them to reach climax faster than someone with less sensitivity. True or not, for the man suffering from PE, the treatment is more important than the cause. Thanks to different treatment options, a man need not suffer in silence anymore, however many men are either embarrassed or intimidated to speak to a medical or psychological specialist regarding his problem.
You've probably heard some comedian at one time or another suggest thinking about baseball while you're in the throws of passion, avoiding any acknowledgement of the physical pleasure being experienced, so that you can adequately satisfy your partner. All this will accomplish is putting you in a better position in the office pool. On the contrary, you should pay very close attention to each and every sensation going through your body. Get to know the signs that will indicate an upcoming release. If you feel that an orgasm may be approaching, and you're not yet ready to let go, by all means, stop for a minute, or at the very least, slow it down considerably. When you feel the sensation has adequately subsided, start gently thrusting again. You can do this over and over until you're ready to let go. This is known as the stop and start technique. Of course, you can practice this technique by yourself while masturbating, or even with a partner's mouth. Don't be discouraged if while trying this method, you happen to accidentally ejaculate. This will become learned behavior, and thus, will require practice. If you happen to have an accident and ejaculate quickly, you can always use it to your advantage by waiting until you can maintain another erection, and attempt round two. A second orgasm will take longer than the first.
A variation to the stop and start technique is the squeeze method. It works pretty much the same as stopping, although you would withdraw your penis completely from your partner, and squeeze the base for approximately thirty seconds until the readiness to ejaculate diminishes, at which point you would re-enter. This method is more disruptive than merely stopping, since withdrawal is necessary, however it is often effective.
Another way of prolonging ejaculation is by reducing the length of the strokes you make as you thrust. It's not necessary to withdraw the full length of your penis before plunging it all the way back in. Try having your partner move her body along with your strokes so that your penis never actually is pulled out of her vagina. The simple back and forth movement will be enough to provide pleasure to her, while reducing, although not eliminating stimulation for you.
This may sound odd, simply because it's so simple, but effective breathing methods will also aid in prolonging the sexual encounter. As anyone who has ever practiced deep breathing exercises will attest to, the proper and profound distribution of oxygen throughout your body will have a calming effect and will relax your muscles. If you are the least bit tense during a sexual encounter (many men suffering from PE will experience stress due to the self imposed pressure), merely breathing properly will undoubtedly alleviate some of the anxiety.
Of course, whichever traditional method you choose is going to require one cardinal element; a partner that is cooperative, understanding, and communicative. If you are already in a relationship, then your partner is aware of the problem. Discuss with her how you intend to work on prolonging your lovemaking, and make sure she knows what you would like her to do. Be verbal during sex and clearly direct her actions and movements when you need them. If you aren't in a relationship, I wouldn't suggest that you go around actively seeking out one night stands, since first time encounters are stressful enough as it is, without having to worry about your performance. When you meet someone that has potential for a relationship, don't rush to get into bed, even if she shows an interest and willingness. Get to know her first, get comfortable, and talk about what you need to "learn" before the two of you can expect to enjoy sexual marathons.
What men need to understand is that most women don't really care to have intercourse for ninety minutes straight, as is often portrayed in films. In fact, it usually becomes downright annoying and painful after half an hour, and even that length of time isn't really necessary. If you're worried about your woman's orgasm, stimulate her orally or manually and make sure that she achieves her orgasm even before you penetrate her. For the average woman, it doesn't matter that she comes through intercourse, oral sex, masturbation, or riding a stationary bicycle. An orgasm is an orgasm, period. If you're able to pleasure her, followed by five to ten minutes of tender, loving penetration, you'll have a very happy partner.
If you're still bothered by the length of time you take to achieve orgasm, there is always a pharmaceutical solution if you want to go that route. Several antidepressants have been shown to have the secondary effect of significantly delaying orgasm. Of course, you would definitely want to discuss any kind of drug with your physician.Have faith and put the smile back on your face, your problem is not unique to you, and with the proper therapy and partner, can be treated very quickly.
