When the possibility of writing a regular feature for Menz magazine came up, I have to admit, I scratched my head for a few minutes. I've been in private practice for more than 10 years, I have my own radio show, I appear as a regular guest on a national TV show, yet it's rare that I have to address an exclusively male audience. I started wondering why a guy would be buying a men's magazine, and what he'd be interested in. I remember, getting my first glimpse of an issue of Playboy when I was a teenager. I recall being really amused at the ads that they ran under the heading "What sort of man reads Playboy?" They always seemed to portray a very worldly, successful, good looking, adventurous kind of guy, rather than the pimply faced, depraved, masturbating, under-age teenager that I always pictured in my mind.
As I matured into adulthood and gained at least some insight into the psychology of the healthy mind, I realized that it is in fact, very possible that the kind of guy Playboy tries to portray as their typical customer, really does buy their magazine. Of course, let's not count out the pimply faced adolescent; I'm sure he's out there too, but the reality is that all kinds of people can be interested in the same kinds of things, and unless those things are illegal or immoral, it doesn't necessarily tell you a whole lot about the inner workings of their psyche. The only thing Playboy readers have in common is that they all share an interest in sex, or at the very least, in the naked female form. As a sex therapist (and as a woman who has, on occasion, perused the odd copy of Playgirl), I can tell you that there is definitely nothing wrong with that.
After having considered and digested all that, I was still left wondering about what kind of guy I would be writing for. I took into account the absence of naked women in this magazine, and that it's not expressly a publication dedicated to sex. That must mean that you bought this issue to explore all the glorious interests that men share. Thanks, that helps a lot. So, given the diversity and variety of my readers, I decided that the only way to go would be to discuss something that holds a special place for all of you - your penis. No matter how old you are, what you do for a living, what you look like, what kind of shape you're in or what kind of car you drive, if you have an interest in sex, you're going to need your penis.
What some of you may or may not yet know, and what others deny, is that your penis will not be the one constant throughout your life, as you had hoped. It will undergo changes that will scare you to the point that, well, you might just go out and buy a new sports car on the way to getting your hair transplant. First of all, I want to inform you that knowledge is power, so if you know what to expect and what your options are, then you'll be way ahead of the game.
So just what kind of changes are we talking about here? Normally, there are a number of gradual and predictable processes associated with chronological aging. Most men begin to worry about sexual aging in their late thirties or early forties, when they start comparing their functioning with their younger years. As an older patient of mine once said, "When I was younger, I was like a machine gunner; I didn't know what I was doing, but I had plenty of bullets. Today I'm a sharpshooter; I'm deadly accurate, but I've only got one bullet in the chamber." Sound familiar? All guys remember very well how easy it was their teens and early 20s to achieve as many as a dozen orgasms in one day, sometimes taking only as much as a cigarette break in between the heavy breathing. Gradually, the refractory period (lapse between erections) gets longer and longer, until you're content to, at least, have that one bullet.
By the time you reach your late 50s, you'll notice definite physical changes. This includes taking longer to achieve an erection; you'll need several minutes of direct manual stimulation, as opposed to seconds or even the mere visual stimulation that it might have taken you in your 20s. You may also find that your erections aren't as large, straight, or rigid as they used to be, although once you're fully excited they should be sturdy enough to do the job. The lubrication prior to ejaculation (pre-cum) disappears, but it won't have any effect on sex. There will also be a reduction in the amount of seminal fluid, so you won't feel as much of a need to ejaculate. Your orgasms will feel different; you'll be less aware of the point of inevitability, the orgasm itself will be less explosive and the contractions will be less forceful. The length of time that it takes you to achieve an orgasm may increase, so load up on the lubricant for the sake of your partner. After you ejaculate, you'll lose your erection much faster than you used to (but who cares, you came already, right?) After your orgasm, you may even find that you haven't ejaculated at all. That's because it will take your testes (which by this time may be smaller and less firm than they used to be) longer to produce the same number of sperm. As far as your fertility goes, when you do ejaculate, you'll have the same number of sperm, but fewer of them will be mature. Fear not; if you have a hankering to father a child in your 80s, you'll still be able to - it might just take more attempts.
Now, if you're all freaked out after having read about these impending changes, let me assure you; none of these changes will interfere significantly with your orgasmic pleasure, and they all take place very gradually. Although these transformations are as predictable as your partner's breasts succumbing to the forces of gravity, there are things you can do to lessen the symptoms and delay them. You know how your heart has arteries that your doctor is always warning you about blocking? Well, your penis has little veins in it that supply the flow of blood for that beloved erection, and they're a lot smaller than the ones leading to your heart. Start watching your cholesterol, reconsider that 48 ounce porterhouse, and start doing some cardiovascular exercise; it can save more than just your life. Stop smoking and reduce your alcohol consumption, neither of which are good for you or your Johnson. Most importantly, think of your penis as a nuclear weapon in an all-out incoming strike: use it or lose it. I'm deadly serious. If you have a partner, have sex as often as you can, and if you don't, masturbate on a regular basis. You have to ensure that nothing gets rusty and that you nourish your drive. When you notice these changes coming about gradually, you might want to discuss them with your doctor to make sure there are no other causes, such as high blood pressure or diabetes. Of course, if none of these suggestions helps you, or I'm already too late, well, there's always the little blue pill.
